They call it puppy love

Whether it’s puppy love or dog lust, Elvis and Emma Lee have been pining for a four-legger for a while now. It’s lead to some awkward moments: stop and squeals on the sidewalk, pupshots on the new phone, air kisses blown to oblivious canines. Bulldogs pull in first, followed by Frenchies and the solid Golden. It’s been established that the horizontal duplex is not the right home for a pooch, but they’re hoping all the same.  Emma Lee tips her hat to the lucky New Yorker, who can live with a dog’s worth of dander lining their tiny apartment. Curl your lip all you’d like, Emma Lee says, “that’s the fucking life.”

Elvis is on Twitter

Check it: twitter.com/brooklynelvis

Everything that happens will happen today

Emma Lee has been cheating on Elvis. The last few weeks she’s been dreaming about another, a man in a white linen suit. He’s lanky and wrinkled, casual and always happy to see her. Each night, she tries to quell her nervous, assuage the butterflies with a chant of “down, buddy, down.” He’s always coming towards her with a smile and a calloused hand stuck out, treading  across  wide, old hardwood floors in nice shoes. She sense they are in a downtown loft, but the walls are different each time, as are the chairs–wicker one day, Knoll the next. He’s not with his guitar and she not with her resume; theirs is an exchange of mutual interest and quiet excitement.

Today, she got a postcard from Elvis in Hawaii and the news that the man in the white linen suit would not be hers. The flip, the flop, she is back to the familiar territory of square one.

Elvis welcomes her back with open arms, and puts her to bed. Falling asleep, she wonders what will happen tomorrow.

Elvis celebrates the return of music

Inspiration, it seems, strikes in two-handed chords, fat ones that hum low and stretch high up onto the treble register. After a too-quiet winter, spring is here. The birds are chirping, the band is playing, and the music is FRESH.

First, there was Bonnie Prince Billy. The man–aka Will Oldham– bedecked in yellow, threw his microphone into the East River, then crossed the street to Monster Island for an entirely acoustic basement set. Lordy Lordy Lordy, Elvis thought. That man can sing. In the dim light, Elvis saw something familiar. The musical banana, he swayed–more forward and back than E’s trademark side to side. And he crooned. Sure, he tilted his head up (projection, bear in mind, was critical), rather than following Elvis’s chin down, lip-up form–but no bother. Shivers, either way. Emma went home and made an homage in banana bread.

Then to Vegas, Emma Lee and her Pal went. That trip merits another whole story, another whole time, but of note was their witnessing the phenomenon of a reduced BIG ELVIS. Once a whopping 900 pounds, big E’s less the half his former self, but still holding it down at Bill’s Gambling Hall. The man behind the bouffant, Peter Vallee, has been voted one of the best fake Elvises ever, and did not disappoint. He was getting to be ambulatory again, and Emma Lee just wants to wish him luck shaking, rattling, and rolling off those last few hundred.

Finally, the high note: a new studio. Emma Lee, while never matching Elvis’s musical mastery, has played a few bari saxes in her day, bit the reed and rented a music studio. She’s got mornings in the Brothers Braun Studio, a concrete and plywood barn a few blocks away from the nest, and she has decided, a week into her stay, that there are few things better than running scales on a Fender Rhodes and blowing real loud in the morning.

There was other notable performances that sent Elvis humming along the way: A great set by Dujeous, a comp ticket to Million Dollar Quartet, the Pal’s new electric guitar, ANOTHER Elvis impersonator (Three in Two Weeks!), and a great, great set by Radar Fiction. With all those tunes, that Emma Lee’s left ear headphone blew, rendering her noise-canceling work cocoon canceled, and making her workday soundtrack spew out in lopsided mono, seemed a little less awful. Because there’s noise, and then there’s music. Playing now.

Life is short, wear sunscreen.

While lacking the soundtrack and retro graphics of Baz Lurman’s Everybody’s Free (to wear sunscreen), Elvis learned a perhaps more prescient reason why we should wear sunscreen on Friday. The scene was Amity Hall, a new, decent burger joint on West 3rd; largely empty except for a table of coworkers at the corner booth.

A woman Emma Lee’s mother’s age revealed she has a small, irregular cell on the side of her nose.   “You’ll just knife it out, right?” Emma Lee asked, having experienced a few moles in her day. The woman explained, to the contrary, that a malignant sesame-seed sized speck, on a hamburger bun-sized nose, would require the excision with a circumfrence of  most of the bun. She demonstrated on the open face of her burger, her  knife held perpendicular to the table, Anthony Perkins style. Emma Lee swallowed hard, and waited for her to complete the circle.

She lifted the bready disc, not accidentally dipping it in some ketchup. “See? Don’t I wish I put that stupid white stuff on my nose?”

Emma Lee nodded.

Okay, Brooklyn. The sun’s a’coming. Get those zinc tubes.

Happy Happy New New

Elvis wasn’t expecting to spend the start of Twenty Ten with Marty Markowitz at Grand Army Plaza, but there he was, a Dixie cup of champagne in hand and a smile on his face. While Marty barked in the new year, Elvis’s toothy grin was lit up by the  fireworks popping above the great lawn. They were not high, big, nor long, but the pyrotechnics, viewed through the freezing rain and bare trees of Prospect Park’s northern entry, were a lovely way to begin the new decade with Emma Lee and her beau. New Year’s toasts were followed by  a less-lovely, more frostbitten dip into the Atlantic with Emma, Beau, and the Coney Island’s Polar Bears. The longstanding tradition felt more like a dirty baptismal than anything else, but Elvis spiritedly darted across the frozen sand and plunged in with the rest of the pasty revelers. This year, he’ll need all the good-luck dunks he can get.

Elvis hits the beach, gets a handful of sand

Elvis biked Brooklyn from tip to tip (thank you Janette, and your DOT bike lanes), on Sunday, to arrive at Fort Tilden and the Gateway National Recreation Area. The beach is largely car-free (seasonal permit required), which keeps crowds down, and potential for waterfront real estate–with a little elbow room included–way up. The beach day involved waves, whittling, and rescuing a fire-red boogie board from the sagebrushed dunes. Surf’s up…. and stayed that way right until Monday morning, when Elvis was reminded that weekends are only two days long, but Mondays are forever.

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Elvis, the professional

Elvis crossed the line. He said he wouldn’t, he swore he wouldn’t, but he did: he’s working full time. Some mornings he wonders how he gets dressed:

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The transition from working in bootyshorts to working in pantyhose reminds him a little bit of the first day of the session at Camp Sealth. It happened the same, just about every summer from 1989 to 1994. After a stop at the cabin for bunk selection, it’s straightaway to the bottom of duffel bags, to dig out your suit and head for the beach.

It’s nice on the rocky beach–nice to watch the tide come in, and to throw stones poke at sea anemones in the shallows, and to stick your toe into the scummy surf. But that’s not why you’re there. Within a minute, it’s off with  sweatshirts, then a crumpled pile of shorts and towels form on the damp sand. You walk the plank of the dock, west towards Juan de Fuca. It’s getting breezy as you get towards the end of the stretch, cold on pale thighs and skinny shoulders. Pretty soon you’re to the last piling and its the moment of truth.

The shock of the cold is fierce. It’s lung shrinking, jaw clamping, cold. It’s for the best, a necessary step to getting boating privledges for the rest of the week, but as you watch girl after girl wail on contact, your cabinmates not emitting a shriek of surprise but one of pure, screaming pain, you wonder: do I really want to get wet?

The answer, summer after summer is yes. So you jump.

Elvis sings “Cry me a River,” Emma Lee and her neighbors comply; East River surges two feet

A small tidal wave has made its way from North 9th to the East River, and is making its way south to the Buttermilk Channel. There’s been nonstop trail of tears coming out of one house. The four-floor walk up is an unsuspecting one, tucked onto a quiet block round the corner from Bedford’s hubbub. But listen quick, and you’ll hear it: by day, wails come from the buildings two youngest residents, aged three months and two years. By night, and at other unexpected hours, it’s Emma Lee, crying over the her recently ex’ed novio. There’s the before bed bursts, as could be expected, but she’s been spontaneous into tears at more inopportune times: while hosting brunch at a crowded restaurant, over Estrella Dam at the Spanish National House, directly before running ten miles, during a flamenco concert, at the Chelsea Hotel, in Flatbush Farm’s backyard. And of course, there was the floodgate cry, the straw that broke the metaphorical camel’s back: at her favorite restaurant, over a medium rare cheese burger. She never thought she was one to throw twenty dollars down onto a table and leave a restaurant, but she was. Emma Lee remembers the sun was setting over the East River, and he was waiting on the corner for her when she came back, all red-eyed and snotty.

Elvis knows it’s a necessary, unfortunate, part of healing (or in the case of the babes, growing), but it sucks, all the same. He brought Emma Lee a new box of Kleenex. It helps a little.

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Elvis finds Jesse, Jesse finds Jesus: New work by Jesse McCloskey

What does it mean to be a working artist? Days, many days, alone, in the studio. There are other modes of artmaking—the smart ones in contemporary art seem to have fashioned more fun practices…ones that revolve around notions of team sports (the Starns Twins recent scaffolding adventures), cooking (Rirkrit’s Thai lunches), and dancing (the year of Trisha at the Walker/Drawing Center/BAM). Still, for the few, the stubborn, the proud, to make work means going into a room, closing the door, and pounding your fists on the wall until you’ve stirred up enough plaster dust to call it art. Elvis, in a manner, has been doing that with the books and the drawings etc, but he’s still learning his way. For a lesson in dedication, he ventured out of his studio, across the burg, and down Grand Street, to visit a master of the pound and paint technique.

“Cut and paste, cut and paste. That’s all I do all day,” Jesse McCloskey confessed. Jesse’s not an undergrad stealing term papers off the internet, he’s a painter that comes to the canvas with a unique method of applique: vinyl-painted paper swatches collaged onto canvas. There’s a carpet of Flashe paint shards on the floor, sheets of bright colors ready to be diced on a side table. The pile-up of bright, flat colors plus solid black—his stroke color of choice—makes for canvases that look, formally, like a nuked comic book…comics that are suddenly three stories tall and glowing neon, with a torn shirt and smoke coming out of his nose. Case in point:

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The black and bright are a good match for his new paintings: Jesse’s done found Jesus. As for the bold black lines—on both his paintings, and handpainted prints—here’s a little stained glass church window in them, but the reference’s a little more loaded than a leaded rose window…See, it’s not the first time McCloskey and JC have met: the artist grew up in a devoutly Catholic home, complete with midnight devil raids (“get up! get up! the devil’s in the house and he’s… BEHIND YOUR CHAIR!”) and a shoebox of Jack Chick you-might-go-to-hell-if-you-don’t-wise-up comic books. Jesse nods back to the scrappy, thumbsized comics in many of his new compositions (see the “lake of fire” bubbling up on a couple canvases), but there’s one big difference between Jesse and Jack. Jack makes his protagonists mild-mannered Christians who tremble with fear, repent like the devil, and beg for forgiveness when it comes to reckoning time. With Jesse, it’s artist vs. Jesus in a throwdown, knock-out fight.

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Let’s hope for the next round soon. In the meantime, Elvis says Godspeed, Jesse, and keep on pounding.